Grief - The Final Gift: A Workbook for End-of-Life Planning
- Kirsten
- Sep 15, 2025
- 3 min read
Today I am pleased to introduce a guest blogger to Conversations in Nature - Author Alicia Ng. Alicia has shared her experience of Grief and Loss in its many forms and the reason she wrote her new book - The Final Gift: A Workbook for End-of-Life Planning. I hope you find this helpful and interesting, I am very aware that there are not a lot of resources to support us through End-of-Life, so I felt it was important to share this book with my clients, and readers of my blog, I know a lot of people visit my blog for information about Grief and Loss when looking for support.
I met Alicia recently, we have the same love of Sound Bath as a self-care strategy. We met "on the mat" at our Yoga Studio, where we got talking about our work - the universe sure does work in mysterious ways - Synchronicities in action Alicia called it, as we noted how complementary our work is, and how the title of her book launch Croissants and Conversations feels so aligned to Conversations in Nature - I was in Paris last month enjoying Croissants and well, Conversations is self explanatory.
Grief comes in different forms. We like to think it only comes crashing loudly into our lives after a big loss. And that's not true. Grief threads itself quietly through our lifespan - when we leave places that once felt like home, when a friendship somehow ended, when we shed versions of ourselves. Sometimes grief arrives before the ending itself.
For me, grief was always present in leaving. Leaving Singapore, an island I spent my last 28 years in. Leaving New Zealand, a place I've built a life and an identity. It wasn't just the act of moving but the countless times I have to lose myself to find the version that is standing here today. What no one prepared me was the moment when I had to let go of associations, communities, and streets that I will no longer have access to.
Then comes anticipatory grief, which was deafening in the last months of my stay. Every dinner, every laugh with friends was tinged with heaviness, because I knew I was already grieving a life that wasn’t finished yet. It’s a strange, disorienting thing: mourning while still living inside what you’re about to lose.
We don’t talk about these kinds of grief much. Society tells us “it’s not that bad.” So we shut down. We carry it silently through our daily routine. That silence makes it heavier. And I think that’s the same with death. We avoid it, minimise it, pretend we’ll deal with it later. But grief doesn’t disappear when ignored. It just isolates us further and proceeds to erupt once it's done being quiet.
Naming grief matters. Whether it’s the ache of leaving, the quiet heartbreaks we don’t feel “allowed” to name, or the anticipatory grief of knowing something precious is slipping away—naming it is a kind of practice. Because if we can hold these smaller endings, maybe we can also learn to face the biggest ending, death, with a little more honesty, and a little less fear.
That’s part of why I created my end-of-life planning book. In my family, death was something we didn’t talk about. When people passed, there wasn’t space to grieve openly. The silence was its own kind of burden. And yet ignoring it never made it easier, it only left us unprepared.
This book is my way of breaking that silence. Yes, it’s practical in helping you set down the things your loved ones will need one day. It’s also deeply emotional. It asks you to reflect on the life you’re living right now. Are you moving through your days on autopilot? Or are you paying attention? Are you living in a way that feels true, that you’d be proud to leave behind?
To me, this work is an act of care. For yourself, because reflecting on death sharpens the way you live. And for the people you love, because one day, this book may be the last thing they hold from you.
Talking about death isn’t morbid. It’s deeply human. The certainty of it is what makes life urgent, beautiful, and worth showing up for. Grief, in all its forms, is what teaches us that. And maybe starting with these smaller griefs is how we finally learn to approach the big one, with tenderness, with courage, with grace.
You can purchase your copy of Alicia's work book here - https://www.amazon.com.au/Final-Gift-Workbook-End-Life/dp/B0DYJTKG5R
I also want to let you know the details of Alicia's upcoming book launch, which I will be attending - and getting my own copy the workbook. https://events.humanitix.com/croissants-and-conversations-the-final-gift-book-launch Please don't wait to long to book your spot as Alicia needs to know how many Croissants she'll need.
