How can I get through the holidays with grief?

How can I attend a Christmas party while I feel so sad?

Why do I have to attend a New Year's Eve Party when I just want to hide from the world?

How can I pretend to be happy when I am holding grief?

How can I attend a party without ruining it for all the happy people?

How can I move into a new year without my person?

I am not ready, I'm not prepared, I can't face it, I just don't want to.

Navigating Your Unique Grieving Journey During Holidays and Commemorations

If you are finding yourself asking these questions, or similar questions, you are not alone. I have worked in the grief space for enough time to have heard these questions asked during counselling sessions many times.

These are often the questions that we start with, serving as a foundation for deeper exploration, and then the session evolves into a comprehensive examination of various options available. We delve into critical aspects such as safety, comfort, capacity, and the felt sense, as well as the emotional position you find yourself in.

Understanding where you are in your grieving journey is paramount, as it significantly influences the strategies that are suggested to navigate through the complexities of grief and loss. Each individual's journey through grief is unique and can vary widely, which necessitates a tailored approach to how we handle the holiday celebrations, and commemorative events after a loss.

Sometimes, the most appropriate response may be to forgo celebrations altogether for the year, allowing you the space and time you need to process your grief without the additional pressure that festivities can bring. This decision can be a vital part of honouring the memory of your loved one who has passed, providing a moment of reflection and quietude amidst the noise of societal expectations.

On other occasions, it may be more fitting to modify the celebration to suit the current emotional landscape. This could involve scaling back certain traditions, choosing to engage in quieter, more intimate gatherings, or incorporating elements that pay tribute to the deceased, thus creating a meaningful experience that acknowledges the loss while still allowing for moments of joy and connection with others.

The Importance of a Support Network in Navigating Grief

Additionally, there are times when the journey through grief can feel particularly isolating, and in such cases, it becomes essential to rely on a robust support network. This network can include family, friends, and even professional counsellors or support groups that can provide assistance and companionship. Their involvement can help you feel less alone as you navigate your feelings, and it may even encourage you to attend celebrations or gatherings that you might otherwise avoid. Having a supportive presence can make a significant difference in how one experiences these events, transforming potential discomfort into a shared experience of remembrance and healing.

Navigating Celebrations Amidst Grief: A Personal and Supportive Approach

In summary, the approach to handling celebrations in the wake of loss is multifaceted and deeply personal. It requires careful consideration of each individual's emotional state and capacity for engagement, and it often involves a blend of personal choice and communal support. By taking the time to explore these elements thoughtfully, we can create spaces that honour grief while also allowing for the possibility of connection and celebration in ways that feel right for each person involved.

The Next Step

I am offering one off counselling sessions up until the 23rd of December

Between the 29th and 31st of December, for those who may need to talk through their Christmas or prepare for New Years Eve.

And I am available from the 5th of January, 2026.

If this is your first or you've had a few, or many, holiday season/s without your loved one and you find you need

some additional counselling support please reach out.